There is a long list of nicknames I’ve been called throughout my life.
Freckle-faced Strawberry
Blaze
Red
Rosie
Hosemary
Minnie
Mur
RM
RMY
Rose-a-maria
Trouble
My Mom was fond of RM, but my Dad hardly ever called me anything but Rosemary. The siblings called me many things and luckily I still have friends who know me as Mur.
The other names…well, they were said in ridicule or humor or teasing or meanness. It depends on the when and the where and for sure, the who. From grade school through high school, I heard them all. Repeatedly.
Yep. What were they thinking?
Kids are mean.
I know this. I know that today in our society, bullying has reached epic proportions. The internet has exacerbated the problem. I’ve no idea how I would have turned out if some of my more humiliating moments had been captured on video and sent around cyberspace.
It was bad enough having my less than shining moments shared among the dozen cousins that occupied my stratosphere. In our neighborhood, growing up on the dead-end known as Griffith Road in Griffith Hollow, nothing was off limits. We tortured each other and played and fought and played and fought some more.
Sister is Seester or Scajewea
Brother is Wojo
Other sister is PKS (Punk Kid Sister)
Niece is Bear
Nephew is Adam Ant (I haven’t gotten to his kids yet, but look out)
Brother-in-law is Jeremiah (his own fault–he can recite all the words to Jeremiah Johnson)
Dad was Daddeo from 1950s movies I loved
Mom was Mumsey
Seester and I played with K&J a lot.
They were a year and two older and I think we liked their adventurous spirits. Always active, we were crazed critters when we were around them. We roamed the woods that seemed massive when we were three and four feet tall, we dared and double-dared each other to try this and do that. Well, okay, I never seemed to win with the double-daring.
Our parents taught us to laugh at ourselves—that’s one of the most difficult lessons to learn. Right up there with taking the blame when it belongs squarely on your shoulders. Who the heck likes being wrong or ridiculed? Jeez. Especially at age eight?
But I have to blame these cousins for shaping me up. There was a long time I was a fiery, quick-tempered, redhead. Somewhere along the line, thank goodness, that went away … replaced with laughter. Don’t get me wrong, the temper can still flare, mostly over bad drivers and injustices that cross my path (or lane). But the temper goes poof pretty fast and I’m left cracking wise.
I’ve been a bully.
I once was so exhausted by an employee trying to please me (never asked him to) that I drove him to join the military. In my defense, he came back a year later and thanked me—said it was the best decision he’d ever made.
Niece was a brute to her brother. We continually warned her that although older than he, eventually he would be much bigger and stronger (ok, that was before she became a Crossfit person and might actually out-dead-lift her brother–or even lift her brother). We told her that someday he would get back at her for the mistreatment. The kid let us down. He remains the gentle soul he was when he was a child and although he’d occasionally scream, “Zenny!” at the top of his lungs, he never did actually haul off and smack her a good one.
Good for Adam, but for Jenny? Just kidding, niece.
Oh dear parents, there’s a lot to balance with kids picking on each other because that’s what kids do, and having to worry about childhood teasing escalating into a real bullying problem. Each time I hear of a tragedy where a child has committed suicide, I am horrified. When did kids-being-kids cross over to such a brutal problem? And how are parents battling it?
I’m ever so thankful that the worst things K&J did to me and Seester were bug-related.
That said, Seester, did you ever get over that fishing worm squiggling on your finger the time they made you stand there with your eyes closed?
Note: This post was originally shared a couple of years ago. For technical reasons (okay, it was spammers), I had to remove it. I like this post so much, I’m re-sharing.
You really are NOT a Snotnose 38!
Ha ha. I was blowing my nose when I read that comment, Seester!
I love those older pictures of you! But yes, bullying is horrible. I imagine it would be hard to be a kid with red hair. That color is so common in adults who dye their hair. But very rare in kids who have their natural hair color. (lol, if only those kids knew they’d be trying to copy your red locks one day.) I was horribly bullied as a kid because I had physical problems stemming from a childhood illness. Bullying is horrible. And I’m sure social media these days just makes it worse.
I remember being bullied by some “big” girls in the bathroom when I was in first grade. I don’t remember how my first grade teacher found out, but at some point, she started letting me use a different, private bathroom. I also grew up in what became somewhat of a tough neighborhood. I went to an academic magnet school, wore glasses, orthopedic shoes and carried a school bag. So, sometimes I felt like I was running a gauntlet of taunts walking from the public bus stop home after school. For some reason, although I didn’t enjoy it, I think I… Read more »
Suzanne, I’m saddened by the number of us that faced bullying as kids. It was wise of your teacher to come up with such a good way of dealing with the situation. I wonder if she also dealt with those kids in some other manner. Oh gosh, read: The saga of the impossibly skinny Levi Jeans My sister and I BATTLED with each other all through our teen years. Our parents should have sent me away! But she is my best friend now, thank goodness. I will hope the same thing develops for your sons. We don’t have to be… Read more »
I guess I was on the wrong end of bullying. I was called by nicknames, most not so flattering.
However, as time went by, I ended up the more successful of my group than the others. Now, anyone tried to call me something, it does not bother me. I have been called worse.
It’s good to let the names roll off of us, William. There isn’t much we can do to stop the bullies. Except maybe laughing at them!
I don’t recall being called too many nicknames when I was a kid. My dad did call me pumpkin from time to time. I was more often than not the bully until I got to sixth grade or so. I did however hate being named Jeri, after my dad Jerry. It was not fun to have a boy’s name, and I did get teased a bit for that. Yes, kids are mean. Indeed. The meanness of kids to each other was always apparent when I was in the classroom–in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.
We called my little sister pumpkin sometimes–it was truly a term of endearment. A college roommate was Jeri, so I know what she went through as a kid. I think we all can be bullies sometimes, not that it makes it right.
I envy you the harmless names you were called. I didn’t have such a happy experience with the names I was called because I was a chubby child — but in looking back not so chubby that I deserved those nicknames. Words can scar.
That’s sad, Jeannette. Kids are brats and words can scar. You’re such a beauty that I hope all those kids feel really bad for torturing you. I hated–and I mean hated–being called Red. It made me see Red. Although there were a disproportionate number of redheaded kids in my class, I was the only one in my entire family–both sides, all cousins included. Everyone else had what I considered normal hair–black, blonde, brunette. There I was with my blazing red hair, standing out when all I wanted to do was blend in. Eventually, I rebelled, but it took too long… Read more »
Hi Rose. Indeed, kids can be cruel. I’m fortunate that I don’t recall any serious bullying or cruel nicknames in my past. But it certainly is an ongoing problem in the world. But can you imagine being a kid in today’s world? Online bullying is far worse that some kid calling anyone an unflattering nickname in the school yard. Can you imagine???
Glad that you didn’t face much bad treatment from kids, Doreen. I can’t imagine how tough being a kid is today, when we thought we had it tough. The whole cyber-everything is entirely too daunting.
Thank you for sharing your story Rosemary. Bullying is rife and though many may say name calling is harmless amongst children – it really isn’t. Not when it is day in and day out or when others join in and laugh at you. Names hurt and they stay with you years after the people have left your life. I was verbally bullied throughout most of secondary school and I too called others names as a child though not on a daily basis, completly breaking someone down. It has taken me years to shake off those names as they stick like… Read more »
Phoenicia, I know from reading your blogs for years that school was tough on you. You are such a generous soul, that I get angry on your behalf! When I was a kid in the 1960s, I don’t think it was as bad as after cell phones/cameras have been allowed bullies to exploit their bad behavior. Of course, I could be wearing my rose-colored glasses again. I don’t remember ever crying over the names, but I do remember getting flaming mad and retaliating. Probably my parents could have told a different story, but in later years I never thought to… Read more »
I am endlessly fascinated by the different lives we all lead. As a child, those nicknames must have bugged you, but as an outsider looking in I think they are cute. And I can’t imagine growing up surrounded by so much family! No one ever had a nickname in my family, no one ever hugged or kissed, and because of the secret substance abuse that plagued the home front no other kids were even allowed to come over, well you get the idea. I think you were blessed with a wonderful childhood!
Marquita, I get so sad when I hear that other people didn’t have this kind of goofy childhood. It was not perfect and I was quite the red headed monster child from time to time, but there really was so much love around–and the hugging? Oh my gosh to the hugging. Still.
Yep, we were super blessed.
All those childhood nicknames could be the reason why you have continued the nicknames!
You must be right, Weni. 🙂 (Although I didn’t give that to you–niece did!)
Hmmm….I still think about that worm. Those darn cousins whom I love and adore to this very day.
They are sweet and kind women–got all the ornery out of themselves when we were kids!
Such a different upbringing you had, RoseMary! My parents were both only children, so my siblings and I had no cousins to learn about life from, no Aunts and Uncles to give an alternative adult perspective. I didn’t get my first nickname until 8th grade, given by a friend. I had longed for one for so long! Fun post – glad you re-shared it.
Karen, I was in college until I realized that most kids did not grow up the way we did. Our family had/has issues, don’t get me wrong. But the overall memory when thinking about being a kid is one of chaos and laughing and cousins and fantastic aunts & uncles and goofy parents. Yep, we know we were blessed.
PS. What’s the nickname? I still love being called Mur.
I’ll tell it to you, and then I’ll explain: Big Ram. My maiden name was Rampolla, and I was bigger than a lot of the other girls in 8th grade. Still, I was so happy to have it. But you can imagine how it could be misinterpreted by someone less naive than me! Actually, that would be a fun blog post 🙂
That would be a fun blog, Karen. Think of the stories you could make up full of misunderstandings and misdirection!
If only kids that get bullied would have the self confidence to ignore it and know they are beautiful outside and inside. And you my friend, no matter what you called, are beautiful!
You are SO right, Carol. And those who bully are the ugly ones, no matter what they look like physically. Our behavior makes us beautiful or not.
And … aw shucks. Glad you are my friend!
I just love calling you Rosemary its fitting and somewhat royal…well at least the way I say it:)
Just keep calling me, sweetheart.
I think almost all of us of a certain age can think of many reasons to be thankful that video wasn’t around during our younger years
Oh yeah, Ken. How do your kids cope?