Facebook makes me crazy…and I’m not giving it up.
Facebook for Musings
I know a few people who have managed to withdraw from Facebook without any major repercussions. Their friends are still talking to them, they’re still interacting with the world, they still seem to be breathing in and out every day.
I’m proud of them and wish that I could do the same.
Am I addicted to FB? Heck no. I’ve had an iPhone for three years and haven’t bothered using FB on it more than a handful of times.
But … the day I finished setting up my profile, my second college roommate found me. Like, within ten minutes. We’d been looking for each other for years. Last spring I finally connected with another favorite roommate—same deal, we’d been trying to find each other for decades. Having those two women back in my life would be enough. But I have the added joy of seeing friends’ photographs, watching their families grow, seeing trip pictures … learning what other college and high school (some from grade school!) chums are up to.
If those experiences weren’t enough, The Isle of Scilly police department posts could probably keep me addicted to FB for life. Have you seen these? Please check them out. Guaranteed to take the serious out of your life and put the pure enjoyment back in.
Why does Facebook make me crazy? It’s not the countless cute pet videos. I can choose to/not to look at those. It’s not the advertisements for weird things that pop up here and there.
It’s how it works and the fact that I don’t understand how it works. I’m pretty good at using the Office Suite, Salesforce in my day-job, and I love my writing software, Scrivener. I can easily see how this interacts with that and xx is the result.
Facebook? Not so much.
Is it me or is it them constantly changing things?
I’ll take answers to these questions and at some point will get around to asking about Twitter!
- When I “like” something, what happens? (Does it only show up for the person who posted it or to everyone I know?)
- When I “share” what does that mean? (It goes to everyone I know—if that’s the option I select, right?)
- Why can’t I tell it to never, ever let a single post or comment with a curse word in it show up in my news feed?
- How can I tell if someone wanting to friend me is real or a potential stalker? As someone wanting to properly find interested blog-subscribers, organically growing my Facebook (and Twitter and LinkedIn) networks is important. But stalking? I’d like to draw the line there.
- Why does one person show up over and over in my news feed and other people disappear? I check—they’re still posting, but suddenly, they aren’t in my news feed.
- What’s the difference between following someone and receiving notifications from them? Are the notifications the completely irritating thing that show up on your computer or phone in the middle of what you’re doing? Whereas the following means that everything they post shows up in your news feed?
At a recent picnic, a friend said: “Isn’t Facebook great? We get to see what’s going on in our friends’ lives.” His pure enjoyment of it nailed the reason why I continue to participate even though I don’t always “get” it!
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Others have probably already said this, but if people keep showing up in your news feed, you are probably interacting with their posts. If you have someone who has disappeared from your feed, like a couple of their posts and they will start showing up again. What really frustrates me is using Facebook for business. It can feel useless at times to build up fans because Facebook keeps making it more and more difficult to get your business’ posts in your fans’ feeds. Though I think most business owners share my… Read more »
Erica, that is a new tip–I’ll go back through some of my friends and check on my liking of their posts.
I know from Beth’s tips about FB groups that there is that issue with using Facebook in general and that the groups can help. It’s a challenge to find time to participate in the groups, so I can only imagine the time involved in managing one!
Facebook constantly changes things. These days your posts go to so few of your friends or followers that for my business I use a Facebook group instead.
I like your blog about Facebook groups, Beth. It’s a very good idea for business people from all walks. Like our BHB group on LinkedIn.
Hello Rose,
This is a nice topic of discussion!
For the last 5 years my journey with Facebook has been a pleasent one. I ve made managed to keep in touch with old buddies and made a lot of new friends who are a vital part of my life now.
plus spending time in facebook helps me to distress during tough times.
And strangely enough, I never felt the need to stop doing facebook.
But if you personally feel annoyed with fb, i guess you consider taking a short break from fb.
Take care.
Hi Tuhin,
I think it’s all in limiting time on Facebook and using it as a tool–not a destination!
“A man is rich in proportion to the extent that he stays away from Facebook.”
OK, that’s not quite what Henry David Thoreau said. Somewhat more seriously, if Facebook helps you connect with old friends, then fair enough, but my own view is similar to William’s, namely, if you want to contact me then send me an email. (And it’s not as though I’m difficult to get in touch with: there’s a hyperlink to my primary email address on the front page of both of my blogs.)
I agree with the contact part, Andy. I wish people would email me rather than use the Facebook message system. I find it quite cumbersome. Like texting!
I use Facebook to help me promote my novel, and that’s about it. I do have couple friends also, but keep the contacting each other at a minimal on it. If I want someone to talk to me, they have my phone number or email.
I know some people, who type in anything on Facebook, what they are eating, watching etc. If I wanted someone to know that much about me, I would tell them.
I think it’s all about monitoring what we put out into Facebook, William. As writers, we need to cultivate good relationships with people we value.
Facebook is cool. I think they jumped the shark when they started letting anyone sign up for it. I miss the days when you had to have a college e-mail address to sign up for it.
Facebook is cool, but I personally think it jumped the shark when the allowed everyone to get on it. I remember the days when you had to have a college e-mail to sign up on there. Back then it was less foolishness on there.
I don’t mind that anyone can be on it, Jason. I mind that it is insane. Ha! I’m so happy to have found two (so far) of my long lost college roommates!
I went to a trade school that didn’t even own a computer- the secretary used a real typewriter!!! There were no emails to be had!
Dawn, aren’t we always shocked if we walk into an office and see a typewriter these days? It’s like wowee!
I haven’t seen a typewriter since then!!! FB has done wonders for my business by connecting me to new clients. That little TAG feature does wonders!
TAG feature? Oh boy, something else for me to learn!
Rose – easy solution. Don’t do FB. Actually I don’t because of all the scary stuff I hear and I truly am not computer literate enough to erase a problem if it came up, so best to stay away.
Funny thing though, You have been sharing my posts to FB and I get quite a few referrals to my site that way (Thanks for that, BTW) so even though I’m not on FB, I do profit from it.
You daft? Never 🙂
HA HA! Lenie! I am so glad that my Facebook referrals of your post are bringing people to your site. After your last post, Seester told me how much she liked it and did I know you. I told her I feel like I do!
I’ll see if my tech friend can help me tame Facebook…if not then it is decision time!
I first joined FB seven years ago. I created a profile and barely looked at it. I used to browse as and when it suited me.
Last year,I began blogging and signed up with a small business. I have FB business pages to market so need to go on daily. I tend to read my notifications only.
I hide any posts that I do not agree with;cursing, sexual, questioning God.
I must say I am becoming hooked on LinkedIn!
Hi Rose, I know Facebook is confusing. That must be why my small business clients keep coming to me to help them monitory their Facebook pages. =) To answer: “Why can’t I tell it to never, ever let a single post or comment with a curse word in it show up in my news feed?” question, if you see a post with a curse word in it that you don’t like, on the top right corner of the post, press the down arrow and it should give you options like, “hide… Read more »
Hi Sabrina, my sister and I were recently side by side with our Facebook pages. I get 4 times as many of those irritating ads as she ever sees. I have been hiding posts with curse words in them, marking every ad as spam and yet time and again I get these buggers. I am starting to think I am Facebook’s test case! HA! I totally understand why clients will turn to you about this. I have a meeting next week with a techie friend and this is a topic. Thank… Read more »
I think I may be able to enlighten you a bit. When you “like” something, sometimes it shows up in the sidebar that you “liked” something. I think. Share means that it will go onto your personal wall, anyone who goes there can see it, and it will also show up in your friends news feeds, unless you only share to one person. However, people can still see that. The only way to keep it private is to share in a private message! You can click on a vulgar person’s post… Read more »
Holy Moly, Dawn! I should have arranged for a Facebook lesson from you the last time I came for a haircut!
What great information. Okay, I’m going to pay attention to your helpful answers and go pop onto Facebook and look around again.
Yes, yes, you would be that crazy neighbor! Love it!
Oh Facebook. Such a time waster and still a way to stay in contact with friends from far away, my children and nieces and nephews. How else would we ask our neighbors who has a cup of sugar to borrow at 11 pm at night when we are making midnight cookies? It is this weird, fun, awful, fantastic, possible time waster thing all at once.
Oh Helen, seriously? You and a neighbor are awake enough at midnight to share cups of sugar? HA! That’s marvelous.
I’m so with you on this one Rose. I have wondered the same thing about all the things you mentioned. I’m curious to see if someone has an answer for at least a few of them. ☺️
Fingers are crossed!
FB used to stress me a little because I felt like I couldn’t “keep up” with all the postings. But then I realized that’s okay if I miss some postings. I do love seeing what friends and family are doing, meeting new friends of friends, and sometimes adding to my knowledge in well thought-out and considerate threads from people with differing views. I often LOL at cartoons (and cat videos). And I LOVE Elizabeth Gilbert’s and Anne Lamott’s postings with such great take-aways and insights for me. I don’t really get… Read more »
Ditto to all that, Karen. I used to get stressed out a bit, too. And then I thought: good grief, woman! Accept it for what it is, enjoy it and move on. I love, love it for people sharing photographs of their lives. What a great connection. And yes, to Gilbert & Lamott (gotta’ read her new book). They are wonderful.
UGH! Frankly, I don’t like it all but like you, I’ve managed to connect with some old buddies and can keep up with some folks I don’t get an opportunity to talk to as often, but it’s a love-hate thing with me too:) But for a writer/author like me, it’s necessary, even though one could call it a necessary evil. Yes…they change things all the time, so be assured you are NOT daft! But I’ve stopped scrambling to keep up. One of those things I am now leaving to the universe!… Read more »
Glad we are on the same page with FB, Jacquie. And I have some friends who will tell you I can be daft–if not about FB!