I decided to have a guest blogger today: my Mother.
I am spring-cleaning my office and found the below letter in a file. It was written my freshman year of college, 1977. Her advice was timely then and is timely now. In today’s world where our high school and college kids are bombarded with partying in movies and TV, this is a nice reminder to stick to your values.
My mother had a wicked bad sense of humor…this letter has a tiny glimpse of that. During my college days she: sent me an entire letter written on toilet paper, made me my own special “Pet Rock,” cut a quarter in half [the joke is long forgotten, but it made sense at the time], and once sent me a note: ♪. That was it—just a note.
Enjoy the break from me…
Dear RM,
Well, I got your letter yesterday. Wish I were a wise and wonderful mother who could take all your problems away. But I’m not and I don’t really know what to say. I never did worry about you running to parties, getting smashed and sleeping around. You were not raised that way.
As for G [a boy I dated], if you only miss him cause there is no one else around, then he is not for you. I think you put too much in the whole boy situation. Let it ride by, go out on a date when someone asks, but don’t do it just to be popular. You’re still young and whether you believe it or not someday you will find the guy who shares the same ideas and feelings you do. [She had no idea it would take me until I was 49!]
I did spend three years around college boys and girls. 90% of the boys only want one thing from the girls. Then just to brag. I always did tell you girls that’s not necessary to get or keep a guy. The guys around there [college] just aren’t grown up yet. They really don’t know what they want. I think I would throw myself into schoolwork and girlfriends and say the heck with it.
The world simply is not the way you want and that’s a fact of life. When you get through school and out working, you’ll probably meet your guy. Probably an ex-con. Ha!
That’s all I can say. Except don’t want everything at once, some things have to wait.
I hope this helps. I don’t like you being down.
Well, I must go and get some work done. Take care and write.
Love,
Mom & Dad
PS. I remembered before I sealed the letter. Go buy yourself something. Sorry it’s not more.
**
Read: Grief of my mom
This will always be great advice.
I hope other young women read it!
What a wonderful letter!!
Thank you for sharing your Mom’s letter; it’s just plain wonderful.
I’m glad you found it so, Nadine. It was actually hard for me to share. Although I know my reality, the inner me wants to think that I was always fiercely independent. HA! Ah, let me live the dream (memory)!
I love this letter as much as I did when I read it the first time. Thanks again.
Thanks for reading it again. What a mom, eh?
Such great advice, Mary! And I pick up on the humor underlying some of the advice. And a real letter, too! Of course we didn’t have all this email, and texting, and tweeting and blogging back then, so we don’t write real letters anymore. They’re so nice to receive – and for you to have saved. A treasure, indeed.
I’m glad that you got to meet crazy Mary and glimpse a bit of her humor in person. She was certainly a unique, mischievous, devil of a Mom!
Yes to more letters!
Sage advice, for sure! Your mom was wiser than she gave herself credit for being. You come by your wisdom honestly!
She was, wasn’t she? Maybe I should have read her letters every year and maybe I should have told her that I was trying my best to listen!
PS. Me? Wise. Oh my gosh, thanks!
What a Mom! Yes, very sage advice. I must admit to being a little jealous…I lived too close to get letters from Mom. 🙂
I’ll see what other Mother-gems I have on hand since I was always the roaming child…